I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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