My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
