Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
