we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
