That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
