What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
