I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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