he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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