Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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