bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
