big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
