So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
