Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
