Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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