I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
