When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
