I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I didn't notice because vodka
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
