Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
