I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
