it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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