If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
