I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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