Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
