I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
His nipple licking is glorious
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