two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
