Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
