You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
