no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
