I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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