I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
