The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
