Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Randomize
