Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
