Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
