i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Found your dick twin last night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
