My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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