it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
