And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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