i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
