i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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