I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the day after is always just damage control
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Your penis caused this!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
