just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I am one with the molecules
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
