new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
