Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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