the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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