You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
