once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
