how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
