Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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