im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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