Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
