I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
