Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I still have a little drunk in my system
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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